You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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