haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
