its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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