you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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