You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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