i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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