Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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