And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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