come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
