I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
