We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
