I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the day after is always just damage control
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
