Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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