There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
