I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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