So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
