I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
People in love make me want to vomit
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you told grandpa to call you daddy
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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