she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
