Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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