Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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