I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's official drugs can't kill me
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I could fuck to npr.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
