Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't deserve a penis
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
