So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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