Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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