so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
