Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was like getting head from an anaconda
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
