strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
