so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
