remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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