Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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