did you get engaged???
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
