Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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