covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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