You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
