I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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