how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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