i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
