Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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