I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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