can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize