let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
