Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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