Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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