She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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