We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
