then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
