Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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