So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
