I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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