You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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