At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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