Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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