Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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