only if we run a train.
done.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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