the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
